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Road Trip

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road

Too Lazy To Post

I chanced upon this app and decided to write something tonight – teary eyed after reading my entry about Dad when he passed away November 12, 2016. I still cry and the feeling numbness still lingers.  Being on your own I learned to cope to have the capacity to recuperate from emotional turmoil silently as there would be no one other than the inner voice within to suffice it. Maybe a bit melodramatic but getting this post done challenges me to finish it. Nothing too exciting or worthy of this page to publish lately – but would try to add something to help me exhaust my desire to write something tonight.

Perhaps the last week of January 2017 was by far the most exciting having my Mom spend exciting times with her nephews from Chicago and Davao. Seeing her again after New Year’s Eve made it easier for me to bear the thought of her without having Dad besides her. Taking her to the airport for a few days of activities was a fresh breath air. Since Dad passing I committed to call her everyday of which I had accomplished successfully. Her trip to Davao was so relaxing that she managed to let go of her loneliness and was able to accept that Dad is already in a safe place free from pains. I was releived to hear that from her – now we can focus on making her daily life easier and happier.

The Highlands 

Yesterday, I woke up early than my usual Sunday morning I would normally turn the TV on and watch again the same show I watched the previous night pretty tiring but that is what you get when you subscribed with the cheapest plan. As early as 6:30 AM I was already bored and decided to switch on the iPad and wondered how my friends from facebook are ranting about on their wall. The cousin whose passion and her way to releive her stress from the ardous demands of her work had somehow made another remarkable entry full of wit that was never boring to read. She just made a story about her hubby feeding their dogs some left-over from the fridge and then saw her prediction for 2017 that “she’ll be hotter” for the coming year. Well, she is definitely hot as always and doesn’t need any application to remind her that.

Few exchanges of hellos we ended up planning to meet but not the usual mall since 90% of the people from the city would probably flocked to end the weekend by doing nothing to hundreds of malls popping like popcorns in every corners of the city – I too was guilty of being a mall rat. But this time is a different story she wanted to be out of the city I suggested hoping that she won’t buy it to go to Tagaytay – The Highlands were the traffic from the city has ascended to a higher level literally. Though I prefer to be in the city the thought of getting out from it was an awesome idea.

Hours later I was already on a cab at the gateway to the south “Shell Magallanes”. While waiting for her I decided to hangout at the gas station’s convenient store. I don’t get it why they call it convenient when the prices are 20% higher. While waiting i was mesmerized knowing that I was a peak away at a posh village nearby, made me wonder if I had just been transported to a different dimension as everyone else was talking a different language. A South African visitor once mentioned to me while hanging out at a coffee shop in Glorietta relented if English was our primary language and that we hate our own dialect “tagalog”. I was back in the Philippines when I was cut from my temporary limbo upon receiving text that the cousin was already 30 minutes away explaining that were little traffic they were caught with and to remind me not to have a anything big as we are about to have lunch together. I decided to transfer to the nemesis of Mc Donalds to grab a sandwhich even if am not hungry just to get out of that place.

Minutes later were braving the expressway to our destination I was greeted from a selection of good music apparently a gift from her boss which by the way the best selection of music I’ve heard lately. Which made me realized how come I am no longer interested in music is something wrong with me?

The trip was exciting as I always enjoyed road trip most of the time feeling dissappointed whenever I would reach the destination reminding me that my journey was about to end. We had a great lunch though it wasn’t her first choice but at least I saw her face lit-up whenever we have this kind of time together be it with a group or just the two of us.

Next stop is to check out famous cafe “Bag of Beans” to get the famous Raisin Bread the reason why she decided to visit the place. It was cold when we got out of the that felt so good and entered a cozy little bakeshop with pastries that aren’t familiar to us except for one thing the raising bread – sadly the last batch was already sold. We checkout the place and noticed I noticed the adjacent little coffee shop with limited tables and with guests having their late afternoon coffee. One guest though caught my attention she was pretty and was talking to someone from her headset not obvious that she had it on. She’s acting as if she was sitting on a nice French coffee shop in the bitter cold of winter as her scarf was neatly tied on her neck. I wondered if that was necessary as I feel bits of the heat emanating from the bakery – but maybe shes not really a fan of the cold weather unlike me. I decided to keep my thoughts to myself and just leave her alone and not criticize her of her fashion statement —- after all who am I to judge.

I thought our day would end there but not with my favorite Ate as she instructed her chaffeur to take us to Taal Vista I thought were just going to view the Taal Volcano but it was a fancy hotel were we have a nice coffee. We sat at the lobby and ordered coffees and cakes but the service was lacking some essentials like cream or milk for our hot brewed coffee, she was in a good mood that day and didn’t let the bad service ruin her day while waiting for her favorite “Lava Cake” if am not mistaken did I mention how delicious the Blue Berry Cheesecake  was? Too bad I forgot my instagram moment and failed to capture it.

Before we left my cousin was in shocked to learn that it was actually my first time to go there – she the told me that we have to go out and take some pictures. It was awesome we had a great time doing our first selfie together. Let me remind you she’s my Ate but it looked like much older she’s so pretty and fresh. The highlands wasn’t a bad idea at all reconnecting with her was once again a happy time.


I really need to share this it was an awesome date on cold a Sunday time with my loving Ate. Thank you for taking me here.

The Last Days….

November 12, 2016 I didn’t get much sleep the previous night prepping for the sudden trip to Clark, Pampanga. I am sucker for getting into appointments on time mostly an hour before the expected time to meet. Woke up as early as 4:00 AM to prepare myself had a nice hot instant coffee before I hit the shower it happened so that I was already on the first trip at the bus station about twenty minutes cab ride away from my place. The bus was on its way when the bus conductor noticed that I took the wrong bus. I quickly alighted the bus and hailed the next cab i chance upon to return to the bus terminal to catch the next bus. My phone rang it was a call from my brother telling me that he rushed Dad to the nearest hospital because of sever pain that made it difficult for him to breath. Perhaps he was stressed out that the second thing he mentioned to me was to prepare money. All I could mutter was that I didn’t have enough but will see what I can do. I understood how my brother reacted when I told him of my money issues just let me get back to the terminal to gather my senses so I could think.

I managed to get the right bus to get to my destination with minimal surcharge then I called my brother and learned that my Dad was already admitted with the immediate administration of intravenous therapy (IV). Now its real for years since his last hospital admission it happened that day it was the scariest and dreaded moment for me had occurred; having someone from the family getting sick. We didn’t have any health insurance except for the usual government health care that only covers a microscopic fraction of our potential hospital bill. But that is not important having Dad finally agreed to be hospitalized is already an epic event. I had been planning this for months but didn’t have enough resources to do so. I told my brother that once I completed my task with my appointment I would go home.

That Friday was not like any days it was special and probably the most dramatic by far. I was relieved to learn that my father managed to get some sleep as he was given medication from pain. Hearing that helped me focus on what I need to accomplish from trip. I did managed to come on time about thirty minutes earlier than the expected appointment. I would call my brother from time to time to get updates. They were just waiting for the doctor that would check on him to interpret the tests done.

On my way home to Manila my brother called me to tell me that Dad was doing OK and is just waiting for the Doctor he transferred the call to Dad. I told him not to worry and that I am going home to see him — silence and then sudden gush of emotion emanated from the end of the line breaking down telling me how much in pain he is at that moment …………………. tears flowing bravely told him composed and assuring that everything will be OK and that I am on my way and to wait for me and not to worry a thing. He said “Sige Anak — God Bless.” My Dad was not religious at all but he would never fail to say that before ending each calls. Hearing that felt good that everything would be OK but It was a numbing feeling. That was the last call I had with my Dad sad but meaningful. I was crying inside, eyes watery and my heart was beating faster I wanted to go home that instant.

Office I sat on my table confused trying to finish the report until I received a call from my brother that my Dad was about to be transferred to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and he asked me to talked to the doctor about Dad having the need to be intubated — a tube that would be inserted to your throat directly to the lungs to help him breathe. I asked the doctor if that would be necessary since my Dad was stubborn and he is scared of this kind of treatment. Since it was necessary I told them to proceed with the approval of my brother also. I cried again inside trying to hide the emotions from my peers I reached out for my phone and called my cousin to visit Dad and assist my brother at this point.

Moments later my cousin called telling me that Dad is not doing well she was crying. I stood up after finishing my report and told everyone else that I need to go home ASAP. I was on a Cab to the nearest terminal two hours later until my brother called and asked me talked to Dad —- he could not talk anymore all I heard was murmurs no words – ” I begged him to wait for me and not to worry and that I am coming home with lots of money to assure him that everything will be OK…. that was the last chance he heard my voice. There is nothing much that I could do I was 327KM away from him no chance to say GOOD BYE.

My Father passed away November 12, 2016 @ 12:02 AM while am sitting selflessly on a bus miles away from my family. I cried silently. This is a Road Trip that will remain in my memories forever. I said good bye to him at 4:45AM at the Funeral’s Morgue covered in white sheet in pain and was trembling I slowly removed the cover and there he was lifeless but calm as if sleeping. I hugged him, cried and called him DADDY for the last time. I hold his cold hand and kissed him on his forehead. It felt good that I still had the chance to see him.

I know I love my Dad so much that I didn’t have the need to tell him because he knew that I care he didn’t have to tell me either as I learned as I grew older that he too loved me and that I too was special to him.

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The Countryside

I guess blogging is no longer my idea of spending my free time. Most of it was spent watching re-runs of shows at the cable channels that I frequently tune into like HGTV. So wrtiting has been lost in translation. Doing this entry on iPad is not helping the keyboard is often hiding that is shaking my momentum in translating my thoughts into words.

For two days now I had been travelling the road going to nearby province called Calamba, Laguna South of Manila. It was an errand for work. The happy thought of doing a road trip had always been enjoyable for me. The almost an hour bus ride allowed me to gaze the horizon a bit larger that is lush with greens and blue skies. I would like to commend the effort of Former Senator Lloren Legarda for planting the Mahogany Trees on the exits to the road sides of the expressway making your travel going to the South a bit more interesting.

I will look forward on another trip for the coming days.

One Vote

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Philippine politics since after the dictatorship regime of the late Ferdinand Marcos has made Philippine Politics the center of attraction from around the world. When the regime was toppled down by the famous people power dubbed as the bloodless and peaceful revolution known to men since World War II. But the story didn’t end there when Cory Aquino was running her revolutionary government to democratic the remnants of the Marcos Regime tried to over throw the government to a military junta but failed and eventually the perpetrators ended up winning the elections and became senators. Perhaps the Filipinos tends to easily forget what happened in the past and yes we are one of the worlds most forgiving nation.

The recent elections by far is the most dramatic election ever the Philippines had witnessed the presumed president Duterte ran away a landslide victory getting the most mandate in history in terms of “One Vote” but it has divided the nation dramatically. I didn’t vote for him I thought his sense of humor didn’t get me and I didn’t find it funny. But with the number of different people who voted for him from the intellectuals, leaders of churches and ordinary “Juan” had made it a valid victory. Now the nation is waiting for the big change to come.

For so many years, Filipinos had been clamoring for the change that we had been longing for since after the Americans handed over the country to the Filipinos. The current government of Aquino somehow eradicated the corruption stigma of the past governments but maybe they forgot to focus on the basic needs of many that made the people angry with his government and it has catapulted to the dismay of the public to its standard bearer Roxas he may not be the traditional politicians the citizens hates but somehow it made appear that he was worthless and useless. I think Duterte was hyped that he can make the big change with the full back-up from the 45 millions netizens of the social media. From the start of filing his candidacy and the start of his campaign was controversial whoever is behind all these created the best campaign strategy ever. While throwing dirt on the current regime made the nation felt that the current has not done anything good was also hyped making it appear that were not been taken good care for the past six years. It is known that wealthy nations had suffered a significant economic downfall the Philippines somehow survived it, thanks for the economic policies that the Macapagal regime has worked for but that is just another story. It is undeniably true that Macapagal did a great job in running the country except for some issues that made her government too a dismay to many and the Aquino government had enjoyed that perks that was laid out for them by the Macapagal Government.

We haven’t found the best politicians and the best government since after Ferdinand Marcos maybe Duterte’s Government can bring that, maybe he can indeed make the change that we had been clamoring for since 1986. I had the chance to cast my one vote last May 9, 2016 were I voted to whom I thought would best lead the country to where it truly deserved. But I welcome the new President that the majority had chosen and is now ready to see that change coming. Though another Marcos maybe a step closer to Malacanang but to many silent netizen the wounds of the past has not completely healed yet. The so called Millennials of the nation may have little knowledge of what happened when martial law was declared that led to thousands of human rights violation. Are we ready for another Marcos to rule the country? What if Duterte would really resign if he didn’t eradicated drugs and crime in six months he could be next president but then again that is just another part of what the future may hold.

We all want change if Duterte can bring that I would join the 15 millions plus who voted for him to cheer for him and thank him for the possibility of making this nation rise to where it truly deserve. We could be the next Singapore of Southeast Asia while that is a cliche but we can all dream for that to happen – WHY NOT. All we can do now is Pray that God would bless our new leaders to run this nation to fulfill its destiny.

 

New Chair

Its election year the candidates are now in dire need of excess charms to lure voters to chose their names on the ballot. While they are all racing to get the highest seat in the country my chair the seat that I own that I use to rule my domain had finally bid goodbye last Monday its the best find I got from Japan Home Center. It has served me well for more than two years but in any item that we buy that is below its normal cost would not really last and mine I was lucky it reached this far. I am currently in the hunt of getting the coolest chair that I can get and would hope that it will not hurt the bank when I found one that I really like.

For a couple of days I had been in dilemma of whether I would push through in going home for good or not. Here I have already established a living space that I liked, love and proud of. The work is doing well lately without any drama. Though the finances stay the same steadily for two years getting a raised is too far to reached. If the right timing allows me to have a better pay then I guess I made the best decision to keep myself here in the big city.

Just like any things that we own had love we would someday get a new and better one to replace to it. The chair is just a reminder that not all that is beautiful will last forever and it does then I guess we are just lucky.

I will take a short road trip to the mall tomorrow to get a new chair so I won’t be stuck sitting on a kiddie chair while having my dinner with my chest across the table why struggling to eating the meal I got from the market.

I am enjoying my long walk from work to my place it relaxes me and gives me time to rethink of the thing that happened for the day allowing me to ponder and watch the cars pass by me. I don’t know if I am making any sense but this is the essence of writing we just pound the keys and let our emotions tell the story we wanted to convey.

For now getting a new chair is my goal sounds cliche and I simply care what others would think.

 

Sunday Blues

Perhaps after watching a cheesy local Filipino Movie at a local channel made me wanted to write something that has been bothering me for a couple of years now. It goes like whenever I would have a free time either short or long weekends the last day would always be emotional. I have this Sunday Blues that devours the happy moments I had after enjoying the freedom and being secluded to my own domain. I would often feel a bit depressed, lonely while a lot would be going on with my mind. It has been stressful since I embarked into my mid-life journey on this planet. Life was never the same again since I hit the 40’s mark – my cousin once told me that, “age is just a number what is important is what you feel inside…” 

It was a good thought and I agree with her – I never see myself as a middle aged man but rather I was just on the right track maybe rough on the edges sometimes but this is still me. My road trip was never the same again since I guess finding happiness is really a struggle that is most of the time its not within reached. I don’t know – once the clock starts clicking to hit dusk makes me wanted to stop the world from spinning hoping that it would just stay lunch time and never have to worry that dinner would be coming soon so that I could stay till and to lay at my empty bed while wondering what it would be like again the next day – I always see Monday as a Big Day unlike any other day of the week.

Maybe I fear for myself, I fear that I may not be able to deliver what is expected of me and the responsibility that I have taken on would eat away my sanity. I had been clamoring for change in years. I may have found my place in this world but it felt empty. I need to make a decision on how I would want my road trip to end. If I would keep my faith on top of my list I know that I would be able to embark to a better life that is peaceful and content. I welcome the sign of being depressed from time to time but for now I would have to deal with my Sunday Blues. I worry for nothing and would just let the course of time lead me to where it would go either into a happy place or not. Work has always been the biggest chunk of my life, I spend more time on my office table than breaking bread with the people that are dear to me. The folks are getting old who knows how long they would still be around even if I wanted to spend more time with them but the lack of time and the means to do it deter me from hopping on bus at weekend to do so. The distance seems endless….. it takes too much logical thinking before I embarked to that journey.

I am on the brink of giving up the career that I have for now to be with them but letting go of the life that I have made on this road trip seems hard to give-up. The choice we make defines who we are whether it will hurt someone or ruins another life. Our CG leader always teach us that whenever we need answer all we have to do is open the book of life to gain wisdom from the one who created everything else. My Sunday Blues definitely didn’t come from Him but I know deep inside that He has he answer. I guess I should also listen to myself – what it wanted to do or not.

For now, I would drift in to the road that I have established for 16 years now. I may have made bad decisions in the past but this road trip for now the journey that I have chosen is the best decision I have made so far. Its good that I am able to express this through writing as my dear cousin once told me on her dedication to the book she gave me that “writing renders truth immobile so that we may touch it with our soul…” – I hope I got it right.

When I decided to do this again  I said to myself that I would make it a point that I would have entry each day. Its a way of reminding myself how it has been as I continue to pace my journey so that life would go on.

When I left our home 16 years ago I promised myself that I will never go back again but the means to keep me sane make me wonder if this is  still what I wanted. There are a million ways to make decision easier but the hardest is to loose the solitude that I have enjoyed for years. There are issues within myself that has healed completely while the scars are just a reminder like a warrior who embarked into the battle field.

I have never been this open to a blog that is public without psuedo name this is me and welcome to my world.

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This is my world.

 

The Ultimate Vacation

Just had dinner a while ago too lazy to go out to buy dinner. It is a bit expensive to have your food delivered at your doorstep but having it done lessens the burden of walking for ten minutes to get to the market and another ten minutes to go home. It becomes nicer too since no need to wash dishes. The ultimate vacation officially ends tonight – tomorrow is my usual day off Sunday that is. Enjoyed the serenity of the room for a couple of days though I did go out last Thursday yesterday was just spent all day inside the room. I accompanied my friend supposedly to do church visits but the traffic and parking is horrible so we ended up spending the night at our favorite hangout its been a year since we last went there. Its good to see old friends but most of them have left already.

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The Sun Sets at Roxas Boulevard, Manila taken last Thursday. 

Driving the city at this time of the year is serene the streets are basically empty except for areas with Catholic Churches were devotees would normally flock to do their devotions. We all have our ways of remembering God for the wonders he had made for us. Religion is something that is so hard to discuss with since we all have our own faith and different doctrines that we believe. All I know is that the Bible says it all. Jesus is our Lord and our Savior he was the reason why we are saved from our sins.

Now the vacation is finally over I am getting myself ready to start anew at work. Having had the time to relax and not think about work is exhilarating. Last night dinner was awesome courtesy of my friend though this is normally taken at breakfast but to have it anytime of the day is always gastronomically exciting. I had dried fish, two sunny side up egg and a generous amount of fried rice. Its my favorite meal of the day as always Breakfast meal. That’s why am sharing it here for you to savor on  – LOL.

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Breakfast Meal for Dinner

The ultimate vacation for this year will end with another memories filling the gaps. I am looking forward for it next year again and hopefully will enjoy it even more.

 

House Arrest

This Lenten Season is my most awaited holiday of the year were we are on holiday for three days beginning on Wednesday which is half day and no work from Thursday to Saturday which is totally awesome. I started my day off yesterday by going to the mall to check on something then head home to relax a bit.

My friend and went on a short road trip last night at the Malate area for a short break. Then headed home as early as 9:00 P.M. went straight to bed but I got hungry and instead went to the market to buy dinner.

Now is Thursday – woke with the excitement and thought that I won’t be working today. I am breakfast kind of guy so I quickly went to the market to buy breakfast. On house arrest the whole day doing nothing.

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My thoughts on Holy Week but this time most of the Catholics are going to churches they call “Bisita Iglesia” – Church Visit. But for me the sacrifices we do to reflect on how wonderful God is should be done daily not in One Week every year. God gave us Jesus us the ultimate savior all we  have to do is to seek Him and accept Him us our Lord and Savior. I can’t blame how the religion has molded us in expressing our faith to honor God. But what is important that we believe there is God and that Jesus was born to save us from our sins.

For now, I am thankful for the time like this were we can put all our work behind us for a while and just be yourself and enjoy the idle time

 

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Road Trip

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road